The Art of the Three Point Turn

Often I hear, “Did ya see that, she made a perfect three point turn!”  Not so easy with a big, three wheel, candy apple red, mobility scooter. (No, not a ‘handicapped” scooter, nothing handicapped about it.)  Listen, this is the scooter that my husband brilliantly equipped with Harley mirrors, and a license plate. So, one asks, how do I do in an elevator?  There is nothing handicapped accessible in an elevator.  They forget that once you pull in, the electronic controls are behind you.  So, if you’re in there by yourself and you’ve forgotten to back in, you just ride up and down a few times until someone else gets in and presses your floor, or you luck out and the elevator happens to stop.  UNLESS, you can make the three point turn.  Practice, grasshopper, practice.  

One must always remember to pull in on a diagonal…never straight in.  If not all the way around, you can then, at least get sideways and control the electronics.  Once that door closes, and your straight in, it takes an inch-inch-maneuver, but you can do it.

And, as far as I’m concerned, the controls are never low enough.  I have used my cane (not pretty), a pen, my eyeglass stem, my scooter key, or anything straight, long and hard…watch out guys! One learns to get creative.

Then, if I’m sideways and it’s time to get off, as long as the elevator is long enough, I back up, turn my tiller and off I go!  Now, if I have to do the “Inch-by Inch” thing, then I simply stop the elevator, take my time, until I’m straight forward, flip the elevator back on and leave.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  Thanks, Otis.

Don’t let’s get started on bathrooms.

On a Frozen Tundra…or Living With Wheels (Boomer Edition)

     I was 22 when I was diagnosed with MD and, at the time, no one knew what life would bring.  At the time, I had lost a baby and was told, “It’s probably just a well, you won’t live to be 30!” How wrong they were.  But, after many years of living with the dread of not being long for this world, I said “Screw it, it’s time to live on!” and live on, I did. I was shocked, for more than one reason, when I made it to 50!  Now, at 63, I have fully adapted to my physical situation and pretty much live on wheels.

  My very inventive husband, Gary, has made sure that my wheels are fully customized.  Yep, that thar Harley is mine!  For my birthday, the year after I got my scooter, he went to the Harley Davidson store, and bought accessories to fit the beast.  He will not, however let me have an air horn…or cattle prod, for moving large objects in front of me. (Even if I promise to be nice.  Hmmm.) Still, I can get through some crowds. But, like me, the old boy, my scooter, is getting old.  It doesn’t have the “oomph” it used to have and it doesn’t like the cold, the snow, and definitely not the ice!  Am trying to get Gary to devise a scooter sled. Anyone have any ideas?